When Lies Create Assumptions
Not all assumptions happen naturally.
Sometimes, assumptions are intentionally planted — through lies, manipulation, or half-truths.
When someone spreads falsehoods about us, and others believe them without questioning, it causes a different kind of pain. It’s not just a misunderstanding based on missing information; it’s an active distortion of the truth.
After my father passed away, I found emails in his account that deeply hurt me. They were from my sister, filled with terrible lies about me. Reading them was like stepping into a world where I was painted as someone I was not. It was clear to me that the only reason for these lies was to change how my father saw me — to turn his heart against me.
This experience taught me something important about assumptions:
When people accept a lie without questioning it, they allow someone else’s deception to shape their view of reality.
It can feel like a second betrayal — first from the one who spread the lies, and then from the ones who believed them without seeking the truth.
If you’ve ever been in this position, know this:
Their assumptions do not define you.
The truth remains the truth, even if some people can’t or won’t see it.
Your worth isn’t measured by the stories others tell about you.
It’s also important to understand that sometimes, people believe lies because it fits something they already fear, expect, or misunderstand.
Other times, people are simply too trusting, too passive, or too conflict-avoidant to dig deeper.
And while that’s sad, it’s not yours to carry.
How to Protect Your Heart
When facing assumptions built on lies, it helps to:
Stay grounded in your truth. You know who you are.
Be clear if you choose to address it. ("Clear is kind.") You don’t have to prove anything to those unwilling to listen, but clarity can be healing when shared with those who are open-hearted.
Hold space for grief. It’s okay to mourn the fact that some relationships may be changed by lies.
Surround yourself with those who value truth. Real connections are based on openness, not manipulation.
And remember:
Sometimes, over time, truth has a way of quietly rising. Lies don't hold up forever — they crumble under the weight of reality.
