Learning to Spot and Clarify Assumptions

Realizing that we all make assumptions is a huge step toward better communication. It’s important to remember: assumptions are a normal part of how our minds work.
Our brains are wired to fill in missing information based on past experiences, expectations, and our unique personalities.

The challenge comes when we mistake our assumptions for facts.

One of the most helpful things we can learn is how to spot when we're making assumptions and clarify the missing information.

How to Spot Assumptions:

• Pay attention to when you’re feeling frustrated, confused, or even strongly opinionated. Often, there’s an assumption hiding underneath those emotions.
  
  

• Ask yourself:
  ➔ What am I assuming here?
  ➔ What facts am I actually sure of?
  ➔ What important information might be missing?
  
  

Assumptions can happen at different levels—small (like assuming a friend is mad because they didn’t text back) or large (like assuming someone’s whole character based on one moment).

A Beautiful Reminder: "Clear is Kind"

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received from a therapist was simple but powerful:
"Clear is kind."

When we speak clearly—when we say exactly what we mean without expecting others to guess—we are actually being kind to those we’re communicating with.
It removes confusion. It respects their time, emotions, and dignity. It gives everyone the best chance to truly understand one another.

Clear communication prevents assumptions before they even start.

It’s not cold. It’s not bossy.
It’s love in action.

When we ask clarifying questions with kindness, and when we practice being clear ourselves, we create spaces where real understanding can grow.

🌿 Clarity is a gift we give to others—and to ourselves.

Why Self-Limiting Beliefs Are So Hard to See

The hardest part is that these self-assumptions have been with us for most of our lives. They feel like truth — not just "an assumption."
But when we slow down and really look, we can start to uncover them:

✨ Where did this belief come from?
✨ Is it really true—or just something I assumed?
✨ What might be possible if I let go of that old story?

When we learn to spot our self-assumptions, a new world of possibility opens up.

A Simple Practice: Identifying Your Assumptions

If you want to start uncovering hidden assumptions (about yourself or others), here’s a simple, peaceful activity you can try:

🧘‍♀️ Sit somewhere quiet and comfortable.
🌿 Close your eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths.
🌿 Clear your mind as best you can.
🌿 Gently think about different situations in your life — work, relationships, goals, struggles.
🌿 Ask yourself:

• What am I assuming here?
  
  

• What facts am I truly sure about?
  
  

• What information might be missing that I'm just guessing or filling in?
  
  

• What assumptions about myself might be holding me back?
  
  

You can do this once a day—or even a few times a day—until it becomes a habit.
The more we practice spotting assumptions, the easier it becomes.